I recieved a comment on my last post asking to stop labeling my students 'at-risk'.  I felt this was important to respond to as I think many people don't fully understand what that means.  At-risk means something - it's not just a label.  These students have come to us from other schools because they were failing, falling behind, severely bullied, have drug/alcohol problems (some are in AA or NA), family problems, unsupportive/addicted/absent parents, social problems, headed toward dropping out or are pregnant/have a child.  Some are even homeless.  It becomes very difficult to concentrate in a large class of 30 or 35 students when you are worried about any of the above situations.  It does not mean that they are not capable of succeeding.   It is actually quite the opposite. 
     Our school is full of success.  Students regularly share how excited they are to finally be passing all classes or to have made their first 'A'.  Many students say that they would have dropped out if it wasn't for our school, and they also now believe that they can be successful in some kind of post-secondary education whether it's a four year university, community college or trade school.  They simply needed a non-traditional environment to bring out their best, and many find it at our school.  
      Of course there are students with the same above situations all over the country who are able to rise above it and do just fine in traditional high schools, but it doesn't mean that they are not at-risk for not graduating, engaging in risky behavior, getting pregnant, etc.  Every one is an individual, and some people are just more self-motivated than others.  It is no coincidence that small schools like ours are popping up all over the country.
     I use the statement as a qualifier about my school - as a way to indicate what our student population is like - because it is not like most 'traditional' high schools.  We have small classes and a small school in general where students cannot get lost in the shuffle and have stronger relationships with teachers and counselors.  There is a great deal of research showing this model  is successful in providing successful teaching, learning and graduating.  
     Whether it's a label or not, the term 'at-risk' means something in the world of education, and while all students are likely at-risk of something, our school serves students whose circumstances are greater than that of the average student.  My students are just my students, but I do use the term 'at-risk' to help others understand that I'm not teaching at what is considered a 'regular' or 'traditional' high school.  Any of my kids would agree.   

             I teach at an at-risk high school, so many of my students do not live in the stereotypical American family situation.  I was surprised when I mentioned family dinners in class one day and most of the students said they did not eat meals regularly as a family.  They said that they or their parents had to work or were just out of the house or they all just sat in front of the TV or, like one girl said, they just got some food and everyone went to their own rooms to eat alone.  All of the students wished that their families sat down together to eat a meal.  It was quite sad, and I couldn’t believe it.  I had family dinners almost every night of my life growing up and had obviously taken it for granted.

            A great deal of research conducted about family meal time shows that children and adults both agree that it is important, yet only about half of teenagers said they had regular family meals (1).  And, obviously, they want to have that time with their parents.  Other research suggests a correlation between regular family meals and better grades, lower marijuana and other drug use, lower chances of eating disorders, lower rates of risky sexual behavior, less chance of depression or suicide, and an increase in healthy eating habits (2).  How can this not be one of the most important things done as a family??

            As a result of regularly sitting down as a family without the distraction of TVs, phones, etc, young people have a greater chance of acquiring an expanded vocabulary as a result of regular conversation with adults and kids tend were 40% more likely to earn A’s and B’s in school (1).  All of the above factors combine to create less stress for everyone involved because there are less poor report cards and discipline problems in and out of school.

            Schedules these days are crazy.  Everyone’s doing something: dance, soccer, football, clubs, youth groups and the list can go on and on and on.  But, family meals do not need to be long, nor do they have to be elaborate to get the job done.  Sometimes they may be as quick and 15 minutes, they may be later than usual or they may be over paper plates and take-out, but the importance remains the same.   It’s never to early to start this ritual in your home, and there are tons of websites that provide quick, easy, healthy meals that can be cooked in a hurry if time is in short supply around your house like it is at mine!  The benefits are priceless, so start today!!

1. http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Health/story?id=1123055&page=1
2. http://www.ncfr.org/pdf/zippy_news/Fam_Meals_Children_Park_Nicollet_9-14-09.pdf

More related articles:

http://www.barillaus.com/Pages/Expert-Advice-Detail.aspx?AdviceArticleID=3&AdviceAuthor=Dr.-William-Doherty

http://nutrition.wsu.edu/ebet/background.html

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1200760,00.html

            The Mini-Van. The Glorious, Wonderful Mini-van.  I have long been teased by loved ones and friends for my love of the Mini-Van, but I stand firm in my love.  What probably comes to most peoples’ minds when they hear the word ‘mini-van’ is lame soccer Moms and helicopter parents.  I can attest that is not the case at all.  The mini-van might just be the greatest design of a car for families, short people (esp. kids and moms), long road trips and carrying lots of stuff.  We got rid of our beloved Tahoe (dubbed the ‘Death Star’ for its size and gas consumption, but we LOVED it) while I was pregnant with #3 and got a good ol’ Honda Odyssey. 

            I had long been asking for one, but the husband refused to ever drive one (never mind that he drove a Subaru Outback, a station wagon, for many years).  So, we got the Tahoe, which was fine for the two kids.  It carried us safely through a hurricane evacuation and on a trip from Houston to San Francisco and back, and was beautiful and comfortable.  But, the impending arrival of baby #3, combined with my lack of vertical endowment (I barely scrape 5’4” on flat feet) made it clear that the Tahoe would not work.

            I convinced the husband to look at some and slowly he converted to accepting (perhaps not loving) that the MV was the way to go.  After awhile, we found the perfect one: one year gently used, black exterior, tan leather seats.  That’s about as cool as you can get in the MV world.  I refuse to drive what I refer to as the old people colors – all the different shades of drab, dull tan.  Ugh.  So, we lucked out with the black one!

            The fabulous benefits may not immediately present themselves when just thinking about it because one can justify anything to themselves in their mind (oh, I won’t mind opening the doors for both kids, lifting them up, securing them and then reaching over the kids to somehow install the baby in her seat!).  All the experience you need is one afternoon of driving with two toddlers and a baby while making various stops where everyone must get in and out of the car multiple times.

            The biggest awesome feature that I don’t think I could live without now is the remote automatically opening doors.  Here’s the scenario: I’m walking with the baby, diaper bag, keys, and purse while holding one toddler’s hand who’s holding the other toddler’s hand because we are in a parking lot.  All I have to do is click the button and both doors open, the children jump in their respective seats, buckle themselves if they can and they are immediately out of the danger of running around in a parking lot.  I can immediately put the baby in the car with ease because it’s low enough for my short stature to reach (she sits in the middle seat, even with one kid in the back), and lo and behold, everyone is in the car within 1 minute.  Larger SUV’s do not offer such ease: kids are often not tall enough to open doors and/or get in themselves and it can be very difficult to get the baby in the middle seat when it’s raised so high.  Less/easier loading time can do wonders for sanity, especially when you have to cart your kids everywhere.

            Other family friendly features are built in window shades (makes a difference in sunny places), dvd player (we only use it on long trips, but we take several a year), large ‘trunk’ space when all seats are up (you basically get none in a most SUVs when all seats are up), and the really large ‘trunk’ space when the 3rd row in put down.  I have fit a store sized display case in the back, ikea purchases, and we have packed for 5 people for a month long road trip and still had tons of extra room.  There are also about 16 cup holders sprinkled about the car, which sounds excessive, but with at least 3 kids, that fills up fast.   Eight people can fit comfortably so you can chauffeur visiting guests and/or family and friends without having to take two cars everywhere! 

            Combine that with the fact that Mom and Dad can listen to the radio/cd/ipod while the kids listen to their dvd, and there is a secret storage compartment in the floor, and what could you possibly not love?  Oh, and the seats are comfortable and the little extras like seat warmers, drivers side automatic door openers, and you’ve got the most comfortable, practical vehicle out there.  Ours is several years old now, but I do know that the new Odyssey’s have a cold storage compartment!!  You can’t get better than that when traveling with kids who need juice, formula, and food.  They also come with lower price tags than near equivelant SUVs and better gas mileage.

            We’ve known several friends who have ‘had’ to get a mini-van after swearing up and down that they never, ever, ever in a million years would.  They wanted to hold on to their pre-parental coolness (I totally understand), but why be miserable when you don’t have to.  They wear sleek designs these days, and doesn’t everyone want to feel comfortable?  Once a family has 3 or more kids, the MV is a necessity.  Two-child families are on the border of this need, but they truly do make life easier.

            People laugh at me sometimes because I drive a Mini-Van.  I never really pegged myself as a mini-van Mom, but I’m all about comfort and practicality, and quite frankly, I’d rather have a fancy, impractical purse than car!

Watch this for a good laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4
Read this:
http://www.omaha.com/article/20110118/NEWS01/701189936/20100407#cool-ride-get-a-minivan

     We are entering birthday season in our house, and it is the first with all three kids.  From now until May, the birthdays arrive quickly and allowing just enough time in between each to barely plan a party.  T-bone is in January, the baby turns one in March, the husband's birthday is also in March and then VP has hers in May.  Mine comes in July, but somehow it usually gets overlooked by everyone since the barrage of kid birthdays is finally over.  
     T-bone is now old enough to have very specific ideas for his party and who he would like to invite.  It's so close after Christmas that I barely have time to recover from my holiday season/two week travel hangover before jumping into birthday mode.  Meanwhile, he's asking EVERY SINGLE DAY if it's his birthday and if I have purchased the cupcakes for his class yet.  That does not include conversations about his Transformers party and Optimus Prime cake.  Awfully high maintenance for a 5 year old-to-be!!!
     The discussions of T-bone's party leads VP to ask about her party and cake, but, as most three year olds, has no concept of what '5 months away' means.  So, many tears are shed over the fact that we cannot have discussions regarding an Ariel princess cake until we go through TWO more birthdays after T-bone.  This is torture for a little girl.  Pure torture.
     I did plan T-bone's party fairly quickly since he had specific ideas and basically wants to invite the boys from his class.  Super easy.  But, now I already have to start planning Punky's first birthday party!  I barely have enough energy to do so as March is always a busy month with spring break and a local conference my husband and many of our out of town friends attend.  Plus, I threw nice first birthday parties for the other two, and it would be plain crappy of me to not do something for the baby.  Once that is done I am quite sure that VP will be hounding me about her party, and she also has some specific ideas, so I've got to make it good.  Long gone are the days where I can just plan something for the older two and they'll be happy about it. 
     Toddlerhood brings many good things such as no more diapers, going potty independently, and drinking out of real cups but it also brings opinions.  And I"m pretty sure there is a positive correlation between strength of opinion and age. 
     So, back to the birthday parties.  It's a crazy spring and I will be running around like a crazy lady for most of it.  Factor into all the madness high stakes testing at my job, family visits, a dance recital and my husband traveling out of town several times, including one international trip, and I barely have enough time to take a shower.  
     I ask myself, though, what in the world would I do if I didn't have all this?  Well, I'd probably be out socializing with adults, going to movies, traveling to Vegas for a weekend or working out regularly at the gym, but none of those things kiss me goodnight with an 'I love you, Mom' cherry on top!

     I completed the three day detox diet, and I lost about a pound.  Like I said before, I ate a little more than the diet, but the extra calories came from foods in the diet such as fruit, raw vegetables or hummus. 
     The first day was certainly the hardest as my stomach growled nearly all day!  But, each day was a little easier as my body reset itself back to eating less.  I confess that I broke down and drank a Diet Coke on Saturday and Sunday ('diet' ended Friday) and I did have some wine Saturday and Sunday.  Since then I have done a decent job at sticking to small, low calorie meals, and I have even stayed away from the diet coke today.  I don't even really miss it, either!  As a replacement to my Starbucks and Diet Cokes I enjoyed many mornings, green tea and sugar free, powdered capuccino have taken their place.  
     It hasn't been as hard as I expected, and I am trying to keep it up.  I haven't touched any sweets and I'm definitely feeling positive about eating healthier!
     I highly recommend doing the three day detox diet as a jumpstart to weight loss or just eating healthy.  It truly does help eliminate the cravings for sugar and get your stomach back to a normal size so it doesn't seem like it's so hungry all the time.   

     So I was reading Prevention Magazine (yep, the one for 'old' people) at my parent's house and came across this article entitled "Lose Weight Fast: Your Post Pig-Out Plan".  It talked about how Americans generally gain 1 or 2 pounds over the holidays and never lose it, and so over the years that tends to add up.  Well, I managed to hold steady over the holidays this year, but I'm still carting around @$ pounds from pregnancy number 2.  I did P90X in the fall, which was awesome, but I was so hungry from the intense workouts that I ate enough to maintain my weight (toned up a bit), but not lose anything.  So, when I saw this article, it looked like a perfect way to jumpstart some healthy eating and try to get on the right track of losing this pesky baby weight.
     I started yesterday, and admittedly had a hard time sticking to the plan mostly because I was absolutely STARVING.  1200 calories (in my opinion) is just not enough for a teacher with 3 kids even if I do want to lose weight.  So, I added some grilled chicken to the lunch veggie wrap and ate several more pieces of fruit throughout the day.  I also had some cucumber and hummus, but I drank significantly more water and tea.  I did not have any diet coke or wine, both of which I usually have 1 a day.  So, I ate healthily (is that a word?) and felt like I did pretty good.  The magazine is geared towards 'older' people, right?  And older people have slower metabolism so that extra fruit, cucumber and hummus can't really hurt . . .
     Today was day two, and I was much less hungry, so I think my stomach is getting back to normal size and it was less difficult to do.  I did drink some sugar free french vanilla cappuccino that I made, but it only has 50 calories a serving and I was FREEZING in my house and couldn't imagine another cup of tea at the moment.  I also added a few extra pieces of fruit in the day, but overall, did pretty good (again, just my opinion . . .).  I also adjusted a little.  I didn't care for the day 2 recipe for lunch, so I just made the same wrap sandwhich, but I think if you stick to roughly the same calorie count and food types it should be OK.
     I'm hoping to stick with similar foods/calorie content for a few more days and try to get into some better eating habits.  I don't think I'll be able to give up wine permanently (it is my guiltly pleasure, especially at the end of long, stressful days), but I"m going to really try to cut out diet coke.  I'm also always striving to cook more and do my best to not get take-out.  However, it's unavoidable on some days.  That's just how it is with the chaos of three kids, especially on days when my husband works late.  Nobody's perfect, though. Right?  
     Here is a link to the article:
http://www.prevention.com/health/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/lose-weight-fast-your-post-pig-out-detox-diet-plan/article/afbfb810e847c210VgnVCM10000030281eac____

This is the funniest (and by funny I mean true) e-mail forward I've recieved in a long time, so I really felt like I needed to share it.  And, having just returned from a 2 week holiday extraveganza driving to Nebraska from Texas, it really is true.  If you have kids, enjoy.  If you don't, read on and chuckle while you can . . .

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)


Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!