Mom of Three
  • Daily Grind
  • Quilts, Crafts & Stuff
  • Links
  • Adoption
  • About

Parenting with Love and Logic

2/15/2013

1 Comment

 
Parenting three kids is overwhelming.  Especially now when they are all in such different developmental stages.  The older two understand certain things and are capable of certain limits and jobs, whereas the youngest isn't.  So, it may seem like she 'gets away' with stuff, which sets off wailings of how unfair and mean we are.  And, of course, like all children they argue about just about anything.  They do get along, but boy do they love to argue.  And, it seemed the arguing and not listening was just getting out of control.  

When arguing and listening get out of control, parents unravel.  I don't care who you are, you unravel.  A normal human being can only listen to so much whining, complaining, tattling and fighting, and it's possible that the threshold is lower when it's your own children. (I can listen to other kids doing the same without really caring at all and sometimes I don't even hear, simply because I know it's not my problem)

So, the Hubs and I jumped at the opportunity to attend the Parenting with Love and Logic classes our daycare was offering for FREE (Thank you best daycare/after school program EVER)!!  We missed the first class because husband was out of town and my ankle sprain was too fresh to risk going out in public alone with three kids.  But we attended the second and I attended the third alone because hubs was out of town again.  I believe we have 2 more classes.  

We immediately implemented the strategies offered in the class, and immediately saw a difference.  We were having some bad bedtime tantrum problems and were literally out of juice to deal with it and it was stressing our whole lives out.  The main ideas behind the program is to teach children to make their own decisions and that parents consultants rather than dictators in the home.  For example, we can't force our son in to bed and threats will only make him act out.  So, we used some strategies such as talking in a very boring tone and saying simple things like 'I know or ' when he's throwing a tantrum and saying how mean we are.  That immediately takes away the ability for the kids to argue with us.  Then, we sat in a chair in the dark talking to each other about boring stuff while our son wandered around and refused to go to bed.  We would occasionally tell him that Daddy would sit at the top of the stairs when he's in bed and quiet.  We also said there would be consequences for not doing bedtime but we would have to think about it and let him know at a later time.  Well, that really bothered him and he eventually went upstairs to bed.  We let him know the next day that because he made bad choices he would lose TV privelages.  

The next night it was a similar thing, but this time he said that Star Wars (Clone Wars cartoon) was scaring him.  So, the hubs and I said that since it was too scary it would have to be deleted from the DVR.  Well, that set off our son, and he tried to physically stop me from deleting it.  Luckily, the hubs can control the TV from our bedroom as well, and so he started deleting it and our son was running back and forth from the living room to the bedroom.  It was deleted, and we never rose our voices or said anything other than stuff like  'oh, how sad for you' and 'i know' when he was yelling about all this.  The following day we said we would have to take all his Star Wars toys away since it was too scary for him, but let him know he could possibly earn it back, but if he fought us they would all be sold.  

The next night bedtime was just fine.  We haven't raised our voices or yelled since that first class.  

The best moment came the other day when I was helping the girls with dinner and my son needed help with some Legos.  I calmly said I'd help him when I was done with the girls.  He had a tantrum so I kept saying 'I only help children who aren't throwing tantrums' over and over.  So, he threw his Legos.  I said very calmly and quiet 'Oh, how sad for you, that was a bad decision.  I'll have to take care of this later'.  Knowing that there would be a consequence, he screamed at me 'STOP ACTING LIKE A MANIAC!!!' while laying on the floor, at which point I thought I was going to die from laughter.  I literally had to turn around and walk away because I was laughing so hard.  I hadn't yelled or raised my voice beyond quiet talking, but he just couldn't stand the lack of drama.  After a couple minutes he calmed down, cleaned up all his Legos and asked me if I wanted to play baseball with him outside.  

This program has literally transformed our lives.  Our home is calmer and happier, and while it is a process and it's not perfect, we are on our way to a very happy existence as a family. And, it is my hope that it will help me to raise responsible, self-reliant adults.  

You can look up Parenting with Love and Logic and find seminars and parenting classes wherever you are.  They also have videos and books if you can't find classes to attend.  It will change your life forever, and I highly recommend it if you are battling with stubborn children, not listening, tantrums, irresponsibility, etc. in your home!  
1 Comment
Lora
2/20/2013 06:24:08 am

Thank you for posting this! We are at our wits end with Lillie not listening galf the time and yell way too much. I worry that Jack is going to learn some very bad habits from us all. I will definitely check out this program!!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Mom of Three

    Be sure to 'like' momofthree.com on Facebook!

    Top Mommy Blogs - Visit Top Mommy Blogs to vote for my blog

    Blog Submission Blog Sites
    Promote Blog
    Blog Community & Blog Directory
    Blogs Blog Gadgets Alessandra

    'Like' Mom of Three on Facebook for updates and fun stuff!

    Archives

    September 2014
    July 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Aging
    Airplane Travel With Kids
    Asthma
    Asthma Attack
    Backsplash
    Bathtime
    Best Cutout Cookies83eb656a51
    Best Sugar Cookies
    Birds
    Boys Will Be Boys
    Candy
    Christmas
    Christmas Cards
    Christmas Decorating
    Christmas Elf
    Christmas Elf Ideas
    Crawling
    Daylight Savings Time
    Elf On The Shelf
    Elf On The Shelf Ideas
    Family
    Family Plane Travel
    Fever
    Flying With Three Kids
    Garage Sales
    Gardening
    Ge Advantium Oven
    Gifts
    Hair
    Halloween
    Holiday
    Holiday Decorating
    Holidays
    Homemade Bird Feed
    Intro
    Janet Evanovich
    Jillian Michaels Body Revolution
    Kitchen Remodel
    Lamb Chops
    Make Your Own Soap
    Md Anderson
    Mealtime
    Mosquitoes
    Nebraska
    Nutrisystem
    One For The Money
    Organization
    Parenthood
    Perfect Pancakes
    Queen Creek Olive Mill
    Reactive Airway Disease
    Remodel
    School
    Seinfeld
    Sewing
    Sick
    Sick Babies
    Sleep
    Splitface Limestone
    Splitface Mosaic
    Squirrel Feeders
    Stephanie Plum
    Steroids For Children
    Stone Mural
    Stovetop Backsplash
    Sugar Cookie Recipe
    Teaching
    Texas
    Thanksgiving
    Three Kids
    Three Kids In The Bath
    Up All Night
    Vanilla Olive Oil
    Weight Loss

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.