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Cucumbers, Fish Emulsion and Dry Heaves

5/29/2011

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I enjoy gardening, and I finally have a decent sized garden that I can experiment with.  I also love getting the kids excited about growing food and taking care of plants.  Some of my favorite foods to grow are tomatoes and cucumbers, and I could eat them every single day of the summer if I had enough.  Well, this year I finally planted everything early enough (last year I was pregnant and had a c-section right at planting time) that I was sure I was going to have a boutiful harvest!  Well, of course, things never go as planned.

I have some tomatoes, but a couple of my plants have tons of blossoms but no tomatoes.  So, I headed to the best local nursery around and they told me that they just didn't set and now it's too late because it's too hot.  Major disappointment.  The plants are huge and beautiful and I won't get any tomatoes.  I have some on the other plants, but not tons.  I guess I'll have to try again in the fall.  Ugh.  I hate having to buy produce in the store if I could be growing it for free.  And, I just discovered the baby has a major love of tomatoes.   There's always next time.

I also planted cucumbers and they were doing awesome - the plants were green and beautiful and growing so much they were creeping up the side of the house.  I got a few cucumbers, but then all the leaves started turning yellow.  I watered and watered assuming they didn't like the current drought we are experienceing.  But, then I read that they don't like tons of water and that the yellow is probably due to Nitrogen deficiency.  Several websites suggested fish emulsion so I bought some, and finally had time to apply it today.  Here's what happened:

Fish fertilizer is made by soaking dead fish in water for months, straining the solids out of the sludgy product and then selling it.  So, I opened the bottle ready to measure it out into my watering can, and it was the MOST disgusting stuff I have ever seen!  It actually looked and smelled like DIARRHEA!!!!  I knew it would probably be gross, but not that gross.  I put some into my can, diluted it and put in on the cucumbers.  It started smelling like gross dead fish at this point.  Then, much to my dismay, I realized I needed to do another batch to get all the cucumber and squash plants! 

So, I went back into the 100 degree garage and poured some more, except this time I could not tolerate the smell.  I do not have a strong stomach for diaper explosions and vomit to begin with, so this really sent me over the edge.  I poured it as quickly as possible, but then it happened.  I began dry heaving (no throwing up thankfully!).  I hurried as fast as I possibly could to the hose to dilute it, pour it out, rinse the watering can and be done.  It was quite possibly the worst smelling stuff ever.  I got inside and scrubbed my hands with lemon scented soap, but it was like the scent was following me (even though I did not spill any).  So, I lit my lemon scented Yankee candle and washed my hands again and tried to distract myself from even thinking of the smell.  It really was THAT bad.

I have a whole container of this stuff, and it's supposed to be good.  It even says wintergreen scent is added to it.  Can't imagine how awful it would be without that scent!  When it comes down to it, what's better for fertilizing a garden than decayed matter?  I sure hope it works for the sake of my cucumbers and my gag reflex.  I won't handle this well on a regular basis.  Ya
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