I love sleep, but I manage a household of 5 people, 3 of whom are 5 yrs old or younger, so I don't get nearly enough. Ever. And, while some people are fully functional when tired, I am most definitely not. I get cranky, can't think straight, and feel especially lazy. Even Starbucks can't keep me awake on my most tired days.
As a result, I love to take naps, even if it doesn't happen all that much. Being a Mom, most times are not acceptable for a good, solid nap. In order for me to achieve a nap where I actually get some real rest, a few conditions must be met. First, my brain needs to know that someone is available in the event of an emergency - meaning someone needs to be available to hear the phone or anything else that might happen. I need to know that the kids are being taken care of and won't bother me. My mind needs to be able to rest knowing that it's OK if I procrastinate on laundry or other chores for a little bit. I also need to know that there is nothing happening in the next couple of hours that I need to be ready for. And, last but not least, it helps to know that my house is NOT full of strange men doing construction in my kitchen. Oh, and silence. Pure silence. Those requirements put every day of the week out of the question for a nap, leaving only the weekends. And, everyone is home on the weekends, making the house quite loud and full of energy. This is where my earplugs come in, and have been one of my best friends since becoming a Mom. I usually look for the perfect opportunity to check out for a couple hours, and that often comes on a lazy Saturday or Sunday, especially when football is on (not my Huskers, of course). My husband has no problem with hanging with the kids at the house, essentially forced to keep the TV on football. I retreat, put in my earplugs and a little eye-mask if it's really bright and my mind can settle knowing that Husband is in control of all kid things. I can't hear, can't see, know everyone is safe and accounted for, and so I can happily catch some zzzzz's. My earplugs are one of my most important Mom-supplies - you can easily find them in the pharmacy section of the grocery store. I highly recommend this strategy for a weekend nap. Most husbands won't complain if you say "would you mind just hanging with the kids and watching some football (or insert their favorite activity here) while I take a nap?". You might even be able to squeeze in some free laundry-folding while you're at it. And then you wake up a couple hours later well-rested, with baskets of folded laundry, and a happy family. You might even coordinate with the kids' nap time so that your husband gets some quiet alone time in the house. Everyone is happy, especially Mom. And you know what they say if Mama ain't happy :-)
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My best friend (she lives in Nebraska) surprised me this weekend with a visit that she had been coordinating with my husband for a couple of months!! I am difficult to surprise, and so I was totally floored! Only one other time has someone tried to surprise me, and it was my husband and I totally innocently found out about it (I didn't let him know though). So, when my friend J.S. walked through my door on Friday afternoon I couldn't believe it!
We had an amazing weekend doing not much of anything. She and her husband have been married for less than 2 years and my hubby and I haven't had many opportunities to hang out with them as a couple, so this was perfect. We watched our beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers pull a record-breaking win over Ohio State, we introduced them Texas BBQ, and we stayed up late laughing and talking and watching lame TV. J.S. and I have the kind of friendship that is long-lived, well-tested and bullet-proof. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, but in the end, we are connected in a way I'm not with anyone else. We can go months without talking and always just pick up right where we left off. She knows more about me than just about anyone and understands me in a way no one else does. She is family. Elbert Hubbard said it best when he said a best friend knows all about you and loves you anyway. Oh the stories we could tell about each other . . . We met in middle school and became friends in high school. It takes a long time to build an old friend, and if you can make it out of high school (which is arguably the worst and most awkward time of life), then it's pretty special. Close friendships like that don't just happen every day, especially after you're married. Kids, jobs, marriage, work and just general responsibility seem to get in the way of having the experiences that you have with friends while you are in high school or college. It's just not the same So, it was awesome to be able to spend time with someone who I know is not judging me on my messy house that still does not have a kitchen. We enjoyed getting to know her husband better and having our kids hang out with them (waking them up at 7:30am!). I live in Texas and miss my family and friends in Nebraska, and so it was like a little chicken soup for the soul to have J.S. surprise me like that. I had been needing some refreshing, and this was exactly what I didn't know I needed! I hope everyone has at least one close friend like that and has the opportunity to have at least one lazy weekend together. There's nothing more satisfying or fun than spending time with people you don't get to see often. Thank you J.S. and N.R. for an awesome surprise!! I let my kids play outside. Without me hovering over them every second. Yep, that's right. They play outside unsupervised (GASP!). I'm sure many people think I'm crazy for doing so, but I honestly don't think it's necessary to supervise kids every second they are outside.
I have heard many comments by many Moms since I've had kids about how they don't let their children play outside unless they are out there with them, especially in the front yard. I think this is absurd unless your kids are really little or maybe you live on a very busy main street. What is the danger, really? People appear to be afraid of strangers and kidnappings, and the media has created a culture of fear in that department. People have a huge amount of information coming to them through more outlets than ever before - radio, T.V., phones, e-mail, newspaper, e-news, i-pad, etc. It is easier than ever to access information and it seems that all the news outlets, especially online, LOVE to share gruesome stories of death, maulings, rapes, robberies, abuse, kidnappings, and rarely does one see a long list of happy stories. And so we are brains are filled to the brim with stories that create large amounts of fear in us, especially as parents. The crime rate has actually gone down in recent years, yet it seems like we hear more about crime. As a parent, I want to protect my kids, but part of that means teaching them what to do in certain situations just like my parents taught me. I don't think that hovering over my kids while they are playing outside is the answer. We are fairly lucky to live in a cul-de-sac, but there is a pretty busy street on the end of it. My older two (5 and 4) know to stay on the sidewalk and I even let them ride their big wheels all the way to the end of the cul-de-sac. And, I encourage them to go outside and play without me. They know to let me know where they will be and I do check occasionally on them through the window. But, I just can't sit outside with them every minute. Usually I am cooking dinner or dealing with the baby. But, I also let the baby outside (she's 18 months old), and the kids know to keep her in the backyard and let me know asap if she's escaping down the driveway. In my opinion, it is important to give the kids some freedom to play and explore as well as deal with conflicts among themselves without me around, as long as they know the rules. They need to gain confidence and have fun without a hovering mother around telling them to be careful or to not get dirty. Kids learn from play, and they must be able to have freedom to actually play. And a little fresh air and dirt is good for everyone. So, I let my kids play outside. In fact, I make them play outside. The other day they ran to the end of the cul-de-sac and played with some neighbor kids and I rejoiced a little because they are making neighborhood friends. And, some of the best times I had as a kid was playing outside with all the kids in the neighborhood. Without my Mom hovering. But I always knew she was near if I needed her, and my kids know the same. And so I'll continue to shove my kids out the door to play and not blink an eye. I encourage you to do the same. The kids needed flu shots and the baby needed her 18 month shots (the Dr. didn't do them at her 18 mos. appt. because she was sick), so I decided that we would all go together and get all our shots. It couldn't be that bad, could it??
We enter the little room in the office where you go if you have just a nurse appointment, and everyone was happy enough. The older 2 knew we were going to get shots and were unhappy, but I told them we'd get milkshakes after, so that was keeping them from whining at the moment. The baby was happy since the Dr. office has been like a second home recently. The nurse was not our regular nurse, and seemed like she came from the family care side, not the pediatrics side of the office. I volunteered to go first to get my flu shot so they would see that it didn't hurt all that bad. Well, she did it, and it was the worst flu shot I've ever gotten! I don't know if the nurse wasn't that great, or if I was sensitive because I'm fighting a cold, but it HURT and I forced a smile that the kids seemed to believe and said "Oh, this doesn't hurt" hoping she would do a better job with the kids. So my son volunteered to go next. She gave it to him, and he immediately started crying which caused my middle daughter to start crying. I comforted my son who didn't stop, which caused my older daughter to cower in the corner and cry harder and yell that she didn't want a shot. I tried to get her, but she just screamed that she didn't want it. I then found myself blurting out, against my better judgement, that we would get a small barbie afterwards as a treat. She did not stop crying, but now we were going to have to get a barbie. What in the world was I thinking?? At that point I had to actually pick her up her as she kicked and screamed and get her on the table so the nurse could grab her legs, pull her little pants down and put the shot in her thigh. That caused her to scream even louder and by now the baby was totally scared so she was crying. Now that she was done, she did not stop crying and we had to move to the baby. I picked her up and put her on the table. The nurse grabbed her legs, pulled her pants down and shot her in the leg and said 'all done'. So I picked her up, but I asked about her vaccinations. At that moment our regular pedi nurse came in to see what all the commotion was because all 3 kids were scream-crying at this point. Nurse 1 didn't know what was going on and I said she needed her 18 mos vaccinations. Luckily Nurse 2 said she knew the baby and would go check. So, we waited, and every started calming down. Nurse 2 came back with the shots and as soon as I put the baby on the table she immediately started screaming, so I had to hold down her arms, Nurse 2 held her legs and did the shots quickly. Finally it was over. The other 2 stopped crying, and the baby cried a bit more. Nurse 1 had taken the older kids to get stickers and they returned with another little girl, who turned out to be our doctor's daughter. Then the doctor strolled over as her 4 yr old daughter chatted up my 4 and 5 yr olds. Dr. E was dressed in a really cute dress and looked like someone I would totally hang out with. She's young and we have kids the same age, and she just seems really cool. Then I thought how every time I'm at the doctor I'm tired, disheveled and totally frazzled. And probably sweaty because it's always like 97 degrees here and I have to carry around a 30 lb baby plus her blankie, sippy cup, a couple books and all the rest of my crap filling my huge purse. Oh Lord. At that moment I realized how lame I am for worrying what my doctor thinks about me. But she seems so cool and I'm at the office so often it's like I should just be inviting her over for a play date. I'm losing my mind and clearly need to get out with the girls a little more often. But, I guess three kids will do that to you. Next time I don't think I will be bringing everyone at the same time for their shots. Lesson learned. |
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